Thursday, December 1, 2011

Home Visit - Take One

I know we have meen MIA for a while. There are two main reasons for that. One, in September something major happened at my work (like lawyers involved major) and it has been a nightmare. I can go into more details later when things have progressed, but it has been extremely hard on my work life, I have been bringing work home with me, and it has made me incredibly depressed. Two, my mother had surgery in October and I had to go take care of her. She was in the hospital for a week afterwards, and went back in twice since and is still there now as I write this AFTER Thanksgiving. So, yeah, life got in the way.

And of course, we have been trying to finalize our home study during all of this and getting all of those loose ends finished. Finding the photographs that represent you and your life, getting a physical when you don't have health insurance, getting blood work and lab test done, etc. But, the good news about this post is that today we had our HOME VISIT, the last installment in our home study. So, let me share how it went.

First, we were supposed to have it two weeks ago but our counselor had to cancel because her son got sick. Oh, the irony. That was a very sad day because we had spent all morning cleaning and doing little things to make it special. Maybe that was our bad, but that is a habit that me and DH developed over this process. For example, when we were doing IUI's, we would always schedule them at a certain time so we could leave the clinic and go have a lunch date. When so much is taken away, it became important for us to create little moments to make these otherwise impersonal things personal and sentimental. So of course, when she canceled, our hearts were broken because it was just another reminder of how much we have to rely on other people to have a family.

I cried on the couch for about thirty minutes. And then DH really stepped up to the plate that day. It was only about 11 or so when we found out it was cancelled. I was ready to crawl back in to bed. But he said, listen, today was all about us, adoption, and a mental day for us. Just because we are not doing the home study doesn't mean we can't do the other things. And I realized he was so right. We have lost so much control in this entire process, it is hard to remind yourself that there are still things you can control. We still had to go pick up our HIV test results, we still had to go get a binder for our profile, and we still had to find last year's tax return in a stack of papers.

So we did all of that. And we went to go have lunch at one of our comfort food places, and I had a glass of wine on Thursday for lunch. And then we came back and watched a movie. Plus, the house was completely spotless, and that always feels good. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, yeah, once again here we are beholden to a third party in our endeavors to have a family, but today we tried to take everything we've learned over the past two years and somehow try to get control over our day again. And DH did some really good husbanding that day.

And then, we got to reschedule the Home Visit - Take Two....

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